“Happy birthday dear Casey…happy birthday to yooooou”, the restaurant employees sang as the cute little waitress walked by the kitchen doorway. Her short, dark brown hair framed her ivory skin and blushing cheeks. “Just go do it!” one of the waitresses said. Casey walked away from them and approached the table where Brian and Micah were sitting.
“I can take that up whenever you’re ready,” the waitress said, smiling shyly at Brian.
“Thanks,” he said, retrieving the bill from her. He dug into his back pocket to get his wallet.
“Hey, look,” Micah said, pointing at the top of the bill: 569-3726 it said. Without thinking twice, Brian scribbled the number down onto his used napkin and put the money on the table next to the bill.
“Hey, that’s all set,” he said when she came back. “Oh, and happy birthday.” He shot her a flirty smile, and followed Micah out the front door.
* * *
“Fuck love,” Brian said, ashing his cigarette against the ledge of the truck window. He leaned back against the sticky grey leather seat and blew a stream of smoke at the dashboard. As the truck pulled up to a stop sign, Brian could feel droplets of sweat pooling on his bare back. The July air hung heavily inside the old F-150 in a way that magnified the smell of cow manure and freshly cut grass. He hung his head out the window and stared blankly at the yellow line painted on the side of the road.
“Hey man, you gotta just forget about it,” said Andy. He turned toward Brian, looking at him through his aviator sunglasses. “We’re too young for that shit. Besides, now we can use that money you got back from your tux to throw one hell of a house party sometime this summer.” He turned the radio up. It blared Steve Miller Band down the open country road.
As Brian sat there in the truck, he tried to remember what life before Casey was like, but he couldn’t. He thought back to five and a half years ago, the summer he turned nineteen. Casey had worked at one of the local restaurants as a waitress for years. Brian and his brother, Micah, came in most Saturdays to get lunch after playing basketball at the park. On her eighteenth birthday, she left her phone number on their bill. Three years later, they were engaged. Two years after that, they weren’t. This would be his first Fourth of July in years without her.
* * *
“Brian, please don’t do this,” Casey said, her blue eyes melting as she sniffled.
“What? What do you want me to say? That I forgive you?” Brian’s voice was shaking. He gritted his teeth as his eyes started to glaze over with tears.
“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have gone down there to see him,” she said, reaching for his hand. He yanked it away from her.
“Casey, you used my credit card to fund a trip to go see your ex-boyfriend! And then you fucked him…and then lied to me about it – over and over. I had to find out from Micah. You must think I’m an idiot. I hope it was worth it. I’m going home.”
Casey sobbed as she watched Brian open the door to her apartment and slam it behind him.
* * *
“I think I’m gonna be sick, bro,” Brian said. His face was pale. “Pull over.” Andy slowed his truck, creating a cloud of dust around it from the dirt on the road shoulder. Brian opened the truck door, leaned over, and threw up into the ditch next to the truck. He sat there hunched over and coughing, the sun coming in through the windshield and reflecting off the sweat on his back.
“You all right, man?” Andy unbuckled his seatbelt and turned off the engine.
“Yeah,” Brian said, sitting back up. He shut the truck door and leaned back against the seat. He was sweating and breathing hard. “It’s just the summer heat. Let’s go.”
Andy started the truck and took off down the road, leaving acres of cornfields and burnt grass behind him.
* * *
Micah was in the front yard building a ramp for his new bike that his parents got him for graduation. Sweat saturated his shaggy, golden brown hair and bits of sawdust were caked to his arms and chest. His green and blue plaid boxer shorts peeked out above his ripped blue jeans. He had headphones on and sang while he worked.
“Johnny’s in the basement mixin’ up the medicine. I’m on the pavement, thinkin’ ‘bout the government…”
When he saw the old blue truck pull into the driveway, he stood up and brushed the dust off his jeans. The guys got out of truck and stretched.
“Hey kid,” Brian said, giving Micah half of a hug.
“Hey man, how’s it goin?” Andy said, scoping out the ramp.
“Good. Sweatin’ my ass off out here, though,” Micah said.
“Ya gonna be ready to go soon?” asked Brian.
“Yeah. Gimme a sec, I’m gonna go get something to drink and change.” Brian and Andy followed him in. Daisy, the family’s yellow lab, greeted them in the kitchen. Brian crouched down and petted her. Andy helped himself to a cold glass of ice water and sat down at the kitchen table. Brian looked around. Not much had changed since he moved out. His high school football picture was still on the refrigerator next to the picture of Micah and his girlfriend, Cheryl. The family photograph that was taken six years earlier was still in a frame on the kitchen wall over the sink.
Micah wandered back into the kitchen, pulling a white t-shirt over his head. It had yellow pit stains. He stopped at the table to scribble a note:
Went to the beach with Bri and Andy for the night.
Love, Micah
“All right, let’s roll,” Micah said. He smelled like Old Spice. Brian and Andy followed him out the door. Brian got in the front seat of Micah’s beat up Toyota Camry and Andy climbed into the back seat next to the cases of beer. They turned out of the driveway. Brian flicked his cigarette butt out window and watched it tumble onto the pavement behind them. Forget about her, he told himself. He reached for the radio dial and turned it up.
* * *
The scarlet sky complemented the hot, tranquil air. Brian could see the setting sun reflecting off of the lake water between the beach houses and willowy trees. He took a deep breath. This time it smelled of beach sand and fish.
“Okay, which road did Jonas say it was?” Micah asked, turning the radio down.
“It’s right past that little convenience store. Probably two or three blocks from here. Then you turn right onto Boardwalk,” Brian said.
Micah looked out the window as they passed a group of girls in bikinis sauntering down the sidewalk. They had towels wrapped around their waists and red plastic cups in their hands. “Turn here,” Brian said. They turned onto Boardwalk and idled their way down the street behind a long line of brake lights. Passing pedestrians crowded the sidewalks, talking and laughing loudly as they made their way toward the water. Twenty-somethings in mixed company sat outside on porches in plastic lawn chairs drinking beer. Girls were sprawled out on front lawns in their bikinis, oblivious to the footballs soaring back and forth over their heads.
“522…530…546, that’s the place.” Micah pulled the car into the driveway next to the big white beach house. The three of them got out, each carrying a case of beer. Marcy, Brian’s friend from grade school, greeted him first.
“Bri! Hey man, what the hell! Get your ass over here and give me a hug,” she said, setting her drink down on the porch railing. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. Her long brown hair danced around her emerald green eyes and toothy smile. She looked the same as she always did in high school except her fake tan was gone and she had a tiny little gut hanging out over her bikini bottoms. She also had a little stud on the right side of her nose.
“What’s goin’ on, Marcy?” said Brian. He set the case of beer down next to him. “This looks like it’s gonna be a pretty killer party. It’s good to see you. I’m gonna go inside and find Jonas. I’m sure I’ll see ya ‘round here tonight.” He flashed her a crooked smile and headed toward the front door. Andy and Micah walked around to the back side of the house where a group of guys were playing poker at a picnic table. As he approached the door, he spotted Jonas chatting with his cousin, Jeff, and walking toward him.
“Hey man, I’m glad you came out tonight,” he said, putting his arm around Brian and walking him back outside. “I’m sorry ‘bout Casey. That’s so shitty. But you just gotta forget ‘bout her and have a good time tonight. Check out babes in bikinis, get totally shitfaced, set off some fireworks, bullshit with your friends…all that good stuff. Go put your suit on and we’ll get some people to go down to the beach and drink some beers with us.”
Brian retrieved his swimsuit from Micah’s car and went back inside to change. He stopped by the hallway mirror and stared at his reflection. His face was sunburned and he hadn’t shaved in almost a week. He approached the bathroom door and knocked. No answer. He turned the handle and let himself in. He found a blonde-haired girl on her knees in front of the toilet. Her left arm was resting on the rim and her right arm was wrapped around the toilet tank. She was coughing and gagging.
“Hey, are you okay?” Brian said, looking concerned. He approached her and she looked up at him with tired eyes and flushed cheeks. He filled two paper cups of water, got her two ibuprofen from the bathroom cabinet, and handed them to her. “Alice? Is that you?”
“Do I know you?” she asked, sitting up. Her face was pale and the ends of her blonde hair dripped toilet water onto the bathroom tile.
“Yeah, we had geometry together in high school. You were always asking me if I wanted to go with you to the races to see your cousin.” Brian sat down across from her on the floor and leaned up against the towel cabinet door.
“Oh yeah. I just wanted you to come out and do something fun. But you were always so shy.” Alice smiled. She had nice teeth. “Oh, sorry. Do you need the bathroom?” she asked.
“Oh, it’s no big deal, I was just gonna change into my swimsuit and go down to the beach with some of the guys and take a dip in the water. Wanna come?” Brian asked.
“I shouldn’t. I’m feelin’ pretty shitty right now. But thanks for checkin’ up on me.” Alice stood up and straightened out her jean skirt. “I’ll see ya, Bri,” she said, shutting the bathroom door behind her.
* * *
It was two o’clock in the morning on Brian’s twenty-third birthday. Lighted lampposts lined the walkway down Boardwalk Street. Bottle rockets soared into the hazy sky in all directions, accompanying the perpetuating chatter and thumping bass. Whipper snappers plopped sporadically onto the surrounding sidewalks. Swirls of cigarette smoke danced against the grey canopy of sky. They sat on a blanket along the shore. Casey leaned back against Brian’s chest, resting her head against his left shoulder.
“Let’s do this again next year,” she said, planting a kiss on his cheek.
“I love you,” was all Brian said. The water was still. The moon’s reflection painted a glassy reflection on its surface. Soon after, it disappeared behind a patch of clouds and was gone forever.
* * *
With a can of beer in each hand and a cigarette behind his right ear, Brian straggled along down the sidewalked path. The erratic gusts of humid wind made it hard to breathe. As he approached the shoreline, he noticed foamy waves sloshing away from the lake, leaving a trail of tiny rocks and debris and forming a topographical map on the sand. He was torn from his daze when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“Hey.” It was Marcy. “Whatcha doin’ down here?”
“Oh, nothin’. Just checkin’ out the water.” Brian looked down at his feet and splashed them along the edge of the water. He could feel her curious stare.
“Wanna go for a swim?” she said. She smelled like beer and sun block.
“Sure, maybe for a little bit,” he said. He dropped the two full cans of beer on the sand and followed her into the water. He glanced down the water’s edge to where he could see silhouettes of his friends waving sparklers around in the air.
“So what’s new with you?” she asked, bobbing up and down in the water. The little diamond stud in her nose sparkled in the moonlight.
“Ah, nothin’ much. Just the same old shit.” He hoped she wouldn’t ask about Casey.
“Yeah, me too. But I love comin’ home for this kinda thing. Nothing ever changes ‘round here. It’s comforting to know that everything is the same as it was when we left it, ya know?”
“Yeah. I dunno though. Maybe I just need to get outta this place. I’ve got no reason to stick around.” Brian started to feel sick to his stomach again. Stop it, he told himself.
“I kept tellin’ myself I would get up and leave as soon as high school was over. But look at me. Five years later and I’m still here,” she said, laughing. “I can’t really figure out what it is about this place that’s keepin’ me from leavin’. I guess it’s cause of all these guys. I can’t walk out on ‘em. They need me. ‘Specially my sister. Besides, where would I go?”
“I wouldn’t be gone forever if I left. I’d come back home. Ya know, to see you guys and stuff,” Brian said. “But if I lived somewhere else for a while, maybe things would seem different when I came back cause I’da been away for so long.”
“Brian!” He looked up and down toward the lighthouse deck. He saw Jonas and Andy waving him over. “Hey, come down here, quick!” Jonas sounded frantic.
“I better go,” Brian said, giving Marcy an apologetic expression. “It was good talkin’ to you.”
Brian scrambled out of the water and headed toward the deck. As he got closer, he could see the guys crowding around someone in a green swimsuit. Two guys he didn’t know were holding either side of the boy’s arms and Andy was behind him trying to support his back. As Brian got closer, he started to recognize the boy as Micah.
“What happened to him?” Brian asked. The palm of Micah’s right hand had a long burn on it. Splotches of red skin encircled the burn. His left eye was bruised badly and was starting to swell.
“Well, let’s just say that fireworks and alcohol don’t mix,” Andy said. “He was kinda stumblin’ around and kinda looked like he was about to pass out. Before I could do anything, he just fell face-first onto that empty beer bottle,” he said, pointing at the mass of firework paraphernalia on the sand. “Good thing there wasn’t a bottle rocket in there.” Micah had big bags under his eyes and the tops of his cheeks and nose were rosy.
“Damn, why did you guys let him drink so much?” Brian said, trying to relieve his own guilt for not being there to stop him.
“We’re real sorry, Bri. We didn’t think he’d had that much,” Andy said.
“Oh, the kid’ll be just fine,” said Jonas. Brian frowned at him. The guys lowered Micah down onto the sand. Brian sat down next to him.
“What happened over here?” Marcy was standing next to Andy now. Jonas and the others scattered themselves in different directions back up the road toward random houses and lawn parties.
“He had an accident,” Brian said. “Hey, do you think you guys could go get him some ice or something?” he asked. “I’ll stay here with him.”
“Yeah, sure thing man,” Andy said. “C’mon, Marcy.”
* * *
Micah held the bag of ice up to his eye. “I bet you never did anything that dumb, huh?” he said, looking up at Brian. They walked alone down the long deck leading up to the red and white lighthouse. The noise coming from the houses was drowned out by the waves rolling into shore and the whistling wind. They walked to the very end of the deck and sat down, dangling their feet above the water below.
“Nah. I’ve done worse,” Brian said, smiling. He patted Micah on the back. The light from the lighthouse shot rays down around the end of the deck. The two of them sat there facing away from the rest of the world, their thin frames creating long shadows on the deck behind them. “It’s my fault anyway, man. I wasn’t there to keep you outta trouble. Sorry, kid.”
“It’s okay. I had a pretty damn good time tonight. But what’s with you? You don’t seem like Brian to me,” he said.
“I don’t know. It’s just that nothin’ around here ever changes. And everyone else seems to like it that way. I always kinda hated it. But ever since I broke off the engagement with Casey, I’m realizin’ that I thought I wanted everything to change, but now I don’t want it to.” His voice was shaky again and tears started welling up in his eyes.
“Yeah, I kinda figured you were still bummin’ kinda pretty hard about her, I just didn’t wanna be the one to bring it up. I know I can’t understand it,” Micah said.
“It’s okay. I can’t either,” said Brian, shrugging his shoulders. A tear streamed down his cheek. “Hey. Do you wanna go home?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
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