I was talking to a friend today (11.6.11) about how much I miss writing. I used to do it a lot. I enjoyed it and it's something that's always helped me relax and sort out my thoughts. so, in case I haven't found enough ways to waste otherwise valuable time, I've found yet another... and here it is.
hi. I'm Emily. I am 27 and I moved to Oregon a little over a year ago to accept a job as a school psychologist in Eugene, OR (otherwise known as Track Town USA). something else you should know about me is that I'm an avid runner which is one of the many reasons why living here is totally rad for someone like me. running has become my unfailing mentor - my source of stress relief and pain release. while many other things in my life have come and gone - whether hastily or as some long, drawn-out painful thing chipping away at my soul - running has yet to abandon me. I'm convinced that's why I've stuck with it for as long as I have. I have no intention of letting up anytime soon. I'm sure there will be posts on that later.
people are constantly asking me how I could have moved out here alone. they call me bold, brave, and ballsy. honestly, I disagree. to stay in Michigan would have been the more difficult decision; it was so clear to me that it was time to leave. truth be told, the transition was surprisingly easy and I really couldn't be happier to be alive in this new place. for the first month I lived here, I interacted more regularly with the bums on the street and the cashiers at the grocery store than anyone else. I had no money and no one and nothing was familiar. strangely, I found comfort in that. I was convinced that my initial feelings of happiness would fade, as I'd start to miss what most would have called home. ironically, I ended up feeling more at home than I ever had in my entire life, and to this day, still do. I don't even know who or what to thank for that. but thank you. this is where I belong. I can feel it.
all that said, I still feel like there are gaps in my journey. there is so much to see and do here and I know that this is only my selfish perception of what there is to experience in my tiny corner of the world. I'm learning that out here, I can be whoever I want and do whatever I want. no one is here has any reason to question why I do the things I do nor do they have any preconceived expectations of me. I finally feel like I can take a minute to breathe and slow down. it's such a new feeling that I'm still in the initial stages of learning how I can fully use it to my advantage and make the most out of my time here. because I won't be here forever. you won't be here forever. think about that.
another thing you should know about me is I have a love/hate relationship with relationships. I go through phases of feeling that I can be an island of my own while other times I find myself experiencing something so incredible that I wish there was someone there to experience it with me. it is only recently that I've begun to admit this. and I've come to realize that like anything else, it's all about finding a balance. thinking in black and white is dangerous, and often a precursor to failure (in every sense of the word, in my opinion). there are so many different perspectives from which to view our world and I've made it my own charge to start living more in shades of gray and to question things that appear seemingly dichotomous. anyone reading this is encouraged to help me accomplish this.
well I guess that's enough insignificant rambling for now.
hey, hi, and hello. thanks for stopping by.
